Posted by: twinki | October 16, 2006

If I Could Turn Back Time

If I could find a way… I’d take back all the money I’ve spent… and I’d saaavvveee.

Well, that’s not quite the way Cher did it but you get the idea. Ever had one of those “if only” days? I am today. My job is really questionable at this point. Lots of bad stuff going on with the company and it’s really uncertain whether or not I’ll even have a job (or any of us) come December. So I’m thinking about how nice it was back in April when I was debt free and renting an apartment.

Now, here it is October and I’ve got a new house. I love the house. I’ve worked hard for several years getting my debt paid off and credit to an excellent status so that I could, if the opportunity presented itself, buy a house for the first time in my 35 years.

It’s a tough thing to do on a meager salary by today’s standards, let alone being the sole income coming into the household. But I did it and it was great! Unfortunately, with the good came more debt. The yard needs a fence. The garage needs tools and stuff. The pantry needs food. The phone, cable, garbage, etc. need hooked up. It’s pretty expensive keeping up even a small house like mine.

Then add in some MAJOR car repairs of thousands of dollars… Ugh. 😦

So today I’m having an “if only I had stayed in the apartment and out of debt” day. I’ve definitely learned a lot in the process though. It’s just that right now it all feels like a giant ball and chain around my neck I can’t get loose.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m blessed. I’m thankful. But faced with such a huge unknown as job security it feels a little overwhelming. God will supply I know. If I’m selfish I wish for Him to supply me with an awesome new job in a field outside of business, which is crooked and cold-hearted most of the time, that would give me back that looking forward to work feeling again.

Anyway, if you’re reading this and you’re a praying person, I’d appreciate it if you’d send up a little prayer for me tonight.

Thank you!



  1. Well, good luck. I hope it all works out. I’m sure it will.

  2. Ick, I can TOTALLY relate. Well, sort of. I don’t own a home, I’m a renter. But I can appreciate the whole job INsecurity worry. The company I work for just merged and all of our jobs are “on the bubble”.
    I’ll say a little prayer for you…..

  3. If I could turn back time….If I could find a way….

    oh, sorry, I was having a “Cher moment”.

    Anywho…if I could turn back time I would save every dime I ever got paid!! But you can’t really live like that. Not and enjoy life. I know what you feel. I feel like this a lot myself lately with our situation. But I too am blessed and I just need to remember that.

    I will pray for you, you pray for me (us).


  4. I tried to tell you not to go anywhere but did you listen? Noooooooooo. You just ‘had’ to move away and take all our good chats and appletini’s with you.

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